Experts baffled by strange events on campus

Columbia, MO – A series of bizarre events has left campus experts scratching their heads. “This really defies explanation,” said Kurtis Wellington, emeritus professor of applied mythology at the University of Missouri. “It’s unlike anything I’ve seen outside of my dreams.”

Early yesterday morning, an unidentified substance began falling from the sky. MU chemists have identified the material as having the exact same molecular composition as water. Professor of Chemistry Wu Liu was reluctant to provide details, however. “There’s no question that this material seems to be very similar or identical to H₂O, but it is obviously not water. The results are only preliminary and I’d rather not discuss the ongoing research.”

Wellington was more than happy to discuss his theories, however. He recognizes parallels with regularly reported irregularities in rural communities in the western USA. “It reminds me of ball lightning. What we have is something common, rearranged into something uncommon. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if this white material was water. Ultraterrestrials prefer to work with what’s already on our planet when they attempt to communicate.”

“I’m positive we will be able to explain yesterday’s events in a purely scientific fashion,” said Liu, “but I can’t completely rule out ultraterrestials at this point.”

Even more disturbing was the large anthropomorphic icon that suddenly appeared overnight. The segmented appearance of the icon created a buzz among gawking students.

“It’s not human. I’m actually a little afraid of it,” said MU freshman Shirley Cunnings.

“I would postulate that the icon in the quad is a mixture of the ultraterrestrial and human forms. The segmented appearance indicates to me that the closest morphological analog would be an insect, such as an ant or other arthropod,” said Wellington.

“The face is the worst part. It’s like it’s smiling, but it’s not quite right. It looks totally sinister,” said Cunnings.

The events of the past two days have left the city of Columbia both excited and nervous. Some, like Wellington, are bracing for more, “I imagine this is only the beginning. This is truly a watershed moment in our lifetime.”

Don’t look, stop, sloth time!

Apparently Kristen Bell loves sloths. And is sort of emotionally unstable, but mostly in an endearing way. These are the questions I ask myself at this point:

1. Who is Kristen Bell? (oooh yeah, Sarah Marshall. She’s a cutie)

2. Why am I making a blog post about Kristen Bell at 1:48 am? (because I’m not too bright)

3. If I’m amazed Kristen Bell can have a breakdown about a sloth and charm the world, am I the strange one? (I think were both weird, so we would have been a good couple. And count me among the idolators, so a better question would ask why is our society so strange)

4. Kristen Bell says she is a serial monogamist (feels the need to always have a mate). If I’m the opposite, what does that make me? (Apathetic? Awkward? Lazy? Foreveralone? Maybe all the above).

I’ve known girls that I would describe as serial monogamists. As soon as their previous relationship ends, they start a new one almost instantaneously. I tend to go months or even years before starting anything new. I think my situation stems from what I’ll call an expectation of emotional privacy. I carefully guard my emotions and assume others would prefer the same.

I think the end result is I come off as a prick, or at best, uninterested. All ye lovely bitches know, should know I’m tryin to correct this.

Pushing the columns.

These past couple months have been a blur. I spent a week at the University of Maryland finishing up my thesis work (see photo above). These next few months will be spent writing up the findings. I also spent a few days in Laramie, WY meeting with recruiters and socializing with other geologists. I’ll be spending the summer in Houston (hot!), but next fall is still a question mark. Maybe more school. Maybe I’ll final enter the real world. Maybe.

It’s good to be back home for a breather. I’ll be mucking around town for a few weeks before heading back to school. Maybe I’ll find something productive to do. No promises.

Dictated but not read.

Sometimes I think I prefer to be alone because I would be ashamed if someone else were to see the things I do when nobody is around.

Wasting time, needless reflection, singing, overeating, unnecessary over-analysis, falling asleep reading a paper…

Presenting my personal concert anthology.

Hey! Here’s a mostly complete map of all the music shows I’ve been to since 2003. My list doesn’t include stage musicals or dance parties. If you went to a show with me not on the map let me know. The venues I frequented most often were The Gargoyle (25 shows) and The Pageant (17) in St. Louis. Canal Street and Elbo’s in Dayton would be up there but I haven’t kept track of most of the local Dayton shows. Easter egg: one show hidden away in Scandinavia.

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Dayton Zoom

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St. Louis Zoom

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Too much cache to cache.

Sometimes I get a little geocache crazy. See below for a map of all the geocaches I have found since I started in 2005. I will try to update this map every couple months. As the map shows, I’ve traveled quite a bit in the past 6 years. I’ve been lucky to travel to some awesome places with to my parents, ultimate frisbee, and work (thanks to the NSF for that last one!)

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Also check out this animation of my finds through time that I made in Google Earth.