Hosers hiding in the tundra

After catching wind that the United States would be holding a military draft in the next couple days, Daniel and I hastily fled the country. We headed for the megalopolis of Toronto, planning on blending in with the city’s other quarter million people. The trip started off innocently enough. We recycled cans and watched beavers play. But the Canucks regarded us with suspicion. We abruptly learned of the Canuck’s true nature when Daniel was hit by an “errant” frisbee. Daniel was dazed, and eventually fell into Lake Ontario. The canucks only watched as I frantically tried my best to save him. I was finally able to find a life preserver on a young child drowning, so I quickly grabbed it and tossed it to nearly dead Daniel. After that episode Daniel and I resolved to keep a low profile. No more suspiciously regarding beavers for us. We were about to settle back into the typical urban Canadian lifestyle, just when the Canadian Broadcasting Company caught wind of our presence. “Two Americans?! In Canada?! This is too good to pass up,” they said I believe. We tried to avoid them, but there was no way we could outrun their nitrous fueled minivan. Not wanting to generate any more suspicion, we casually agreed to be interviewed. After the interview, the CBC was so compelled by our story of hardship and determination, that they called the Prime Minister of Canada, who granted us honorary Canadian citizenship. With that, we knew we could now pledge our military alliance to Canada, who will never get in a war because they are too nice. We left for America with a sense of triumph. Now that we are citizens of Canada we are no longer eligible for the United States draft, plus we get free health care and can play hockey!

A clip from the CBC interview can be found on the images page.

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